Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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