I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
