My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
my liver is dry heaving
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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