i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
