The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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