You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
