I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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