The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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