Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
