You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
