dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
