yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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