A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
3 2 1 whiskey
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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