Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
