You made me cry and you don't even care
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
