where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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