Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
