He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
