I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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