I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
