Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
