Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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