Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
