"it" just moved
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
