And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
