thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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