I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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