This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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