I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
