after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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