well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Randomize
