Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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