it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
