if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.