I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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