ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize