Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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