I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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