Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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