Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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