No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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