what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I forget how to act sober
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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