I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you will always have a special place in my vag
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
