and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
