Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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