they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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