Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
