i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
