theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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