so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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