dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
