My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
