I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
