Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
