I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Someone came in the potted fern
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
