I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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