I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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