Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
