you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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