Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
