Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
In America we eat man semen.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
