Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
