Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
