you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize