Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
